Will You Please Welcome....This Week's Idiots

Ah, what joy. Today, we can highlight a couple of instances of idiocy at a level that, frankly, beggars belief.

Firstly, CAF have chosen to ban Togo from the next two African Cup of Nations tournaments for, presumably, disrespecting the competition by having some of their players shot and staff killed. How dare Togo withdraw from a competition for such a trivial reason as coming under terrorist attack.

Secondly, John Terry, England captain. Really, I could just follow the tiresome tabloid moral high ground approach about morality, but I think sleeping with your friend and team-mate's girlfriend speaks for itself. The word 'scumbag' springs to mind.

Nevertheless, this isn't necessarily a reason to strip Terry of the England captaincy. However, the lack of respect from the rest of squad, the fact that the man can't be trusted, the sheer arrogance of the guy - these are reasons for Fabio Capello to find a new captain.

New England Boss...But No English

It's looking 99% certain that Fabio Capello will become the new manager of England.

Capello, as everyone knows, is a proven, top class manager - winning league trophies in Italy and Spain plus the inevitable Champions League title.

But is Capello really a good choice for a nation that rates itself way above the realities of their football.

One of the things that has been claimed is that Capello is unafraid of puncturing big egos and dropping big name players if they aren't performing. Naturally enough, lots of England fans think that this is a good thing.

There is a view among England fans that the players are all 'big time Charlies' who don't really care about playing for their country and need a good kick up the arse.

This may well be true. But, the thing with Capello is that he IS the big ego. The reason he falls out with big name players (Beckham, Totti...etc.) is less to do with their performance and more to do with Capello attempting to show the world that he is the main man.

Beckham, remember, was frozen out by Capello for having the nerve to sign a contract with a club that wanted him instead of one that really didn't.

"He'll never play for Real again", Capello claimed.

Except that Beckham did play for Real again and was a major contributor to Real's reclaiming of La Liga title.

So much for the 'hard taskmaster' tag.

The other problem with Capello is that he doesn't speak much English. Put aside easily made jokes about this being true of many England players as well, it is a problem to have a manager that can't really communicate with his players.

I'm not sure that Joe Cole and Wright-Phillips are really going to understand "gioc la sfera all'uomo ed al funzionamento grandi sopra ai knockdowns" .

I'm even less sure that Capello would be able to say "play the ball to the big man and run on to the knockdowns".

Anyway, Capello is the new England boss. England will qualify. England will get knocked out in the quarter-finals.

Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.

The Great England Manager Debacle

OK, so The F.A sacked Steve 'What-Do-I-Do-Now' McClaren for proving he is a true Englishman when he snatched defeat from the jaws of victory against Croatia.

Not a real surprise, to be honest.

And, of course, the usual high profile casualties of the last round of top level sackings are being considered for the job - Capello, Mourinho, Lippi - you know the names.

However, in true English style, it's already being handled very badly.

I particularly enjoyed today's News of the World article that manages the astonishing feat of simultaneously saying that Mourinho wants the England job and categorically denying that he will have anything to do with it.

The essence of the article is that Mourinho was already to say 'yes' to England when some European super club offered him a job starting next season. So he will say 'no' instead.

All this despite quotes like :

"But when the English people say they want me and the players say they want me...well, I can't say no. It would be an honour to be manager of England and I am excited by the responsibilities of this England job."

If the article proves true, there will be more claims that Mourinho was using England to get a top European job.

Um...bull. Mourinho's record over the last 3-4 years is the best in Europe and he doesn't need England to help him get another high profile management role.