Well, It Was Worth A Try

A very short post for you today, but certainly one that brought a big smile to my face.

Those cunning/inscrutable/mysterious (delete to find your favoured Oriental cliche) North Koreans thought they could put one over the, er, mighty FIFA by registering striker Kim Myong-Won as their third goalkeeper. This would mean those crafty Koreans would go to the World Cup Finals with no less than six forwards.

Presumably they assumed that no one at FIFA would know who any of their players were. Unfortunately, FIFA were wise to their ways and have told the Koreans that Myong-Won can only play as a goalkeeper according to their rules.

Let's hope their first two goalkeeping choices don't get injured!

Coca-Cola : More Sponsor Silliness

That bastian of American corporate culture, Coca-Cola are launching a bunch of ridiculous promotions ahead of the 2010 World Cup Finals.

My personal favourite, though, has to be the limited edition Coca Cola cans featuring, and I think you're gonna like this, members of the France football squad.

Like who, you ask? Well, I'm glad you asked that because among others, there's Franck Ribery, Sidney Govou and Karim Benzema, all of whom are under investigation for allegedly sleeping with an underage prostitute.

Even worse is the Coke World Cup Trophy tour, whereby a huge international corporation gets to co-opt the world's most famous sports trophy in order to sell more teeth rotting fizzy drinks. Fantastic. FIFA: I hope you're proud of yourselves.

Capello Has A Cunning Plan

Fabio Capello has proved himself to be a great manager whereever he has been - he's won trophies in Spain and Italy and guided England to comfortable World Cup qualification. His credentials are not in doubt.

And part of the reason for his success is not just his ability to mould a squad into winners on the pitch, it's that he takes care of the off the pitch stuff too.

More subtle than, say, Sir Alex Ferguson's rants about referees, Capello is already getting into the heads of FIFA's World Cup refs by suggesting that they should be protecting the world's best players.

It appears that Capello had conversations with FIFA's head of referees Jose Maria Garcia Aranda at a recent conference ahead of the World Cup Finals to suggest that the officials at the 2010 World Cup might like to keep a close eye on "how important it is for the best players to be protected from opposition players who might only be interested in removing them by foul means."

Smart man, Mr Capello. He'll go far!

Sepp Blatter and A Brave New World

2010WorldCupOnline wants to know why two South American countries seem to be playing in North America.

It's a good point. The answer, of course, is for the same reason that Australia has moved to Asia and Israel to Europe. Football, it's the world game, but just not the world as we know it. Maybe it's the world as FIFA president Sepp Blatter wants it to be.

And speaking of the always, er, interesting Mr Blatter. I couldn't help but enjoy his comments that John Terry's affair would have been "applauded" in Latin countries.

This is just the latest in, I don't know, hundreds of stupid things Blatter has said down the years.

My all time favourite is this:

"There are gay footballers, but they don’t declare it because it will not be accepted in these macho organisations. Look at women’s football – homosexuality is more popular there.”

There's loads more but I just bring myself to post them.

Big Brother Is Watching You!

Regular readers of this blog might know that I like to mock the whole corporate sponsorship culture that surrounds the World Cup Finals.

Personally, I don't really care that an Indian IT company wants to pay £32 million to be a World Cup 'sponsor'. It's their money; they can piss it up against whichever wall they choose. And, before the World Cup 2010 starts, I will be mocking the whole concept of a football event even needing an 'IT sponsor'.

But, I disgress.

What I do find egregious (look it up) is the way in which FIFA is seeking to maximise their income by turning the screws on smaller businesses who wish to promote themselves during World Cup year.

This document suggests that FIFA will sue you if you use the phrase '2010' in relation to the words 'soccer' or 'football' if you are not an official sponsor, partner or whatever other category of money-making nonsense they have come up with.

There is even the suggestion that FIFA hold the rights to all billboard advertising within a 5km radius of any World Cup stadium.

This is the kind of crass commercialisation that I, personally, find sickening. Especially as it restricts the opportunities for local (and by that, I meant South African) businesses to compete.

I remember when the World Cup was about football, not about money.

No Suspension For Henry...But FIFA's Rules Look Ridiculous

It was to no-one's surprise at all that FIFA chose not to suspend Thierry Henry for the handball that saw France through to the World Cup Finals at the expense of the Republic of Ireland.

The FIFA Disciplinary Committee could not suspend Henry because handling the ball to help your team score is not a 'serious infringement' of the rules and therefore cannot be punishable by suspension.

Fair enough, you might say, until you look - like the Huffington Post's Gabriel A Feldman chose to do - at the FIFA Disciplinary Code itself.

Feldman notes the ill-conceived, inconsistent absurdities of the Code, pointing out that punching a player only merits a 2 match suspension, while spitting at an opponent gets you a 6 match suspension.

More pertinently, he observes that a one match ban will be imposed if a player is found "denying the opposing team a goal or an obvious goal-scoring opportunity by deliberately handling the ball."

Feldman asks the obvious question here: From the perspective of disciplining a player, is there a real difference between using your hand to score a goal versus using your hand to prevent a goal?

And, as usual, FIFA have no answers.